Clearly Jealous
by AtheneDi
Summary: Ron attempts to seduce an unsuspecting girl with dirty Wizard pick up lines.


**Clearly Jealous**

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><p>Feeling quite full of himself, Ron Weasley strutted in to the Gryffindor Common room. He paused as he entered to do a full spin so the ladies (oh those lucky ladies) could admire him from all sides.<p>

"Who wants some of this?" He asked beaming. He had fiery, manly red hair, the freckles of a deity, a butt men would kill for and women swoon over and he was exceptionally bright. _Oh yes,_ Ron though to himself, _I am the most shaggable person to ever grace this school with their presence._

He strutted over to the nearest girl, a bored looking girl in seventh year hunched over a book. As he moved towards her he winked at every girl in the room, being as there were several he looked as if he was having a nervous tick but in Ron's mind he was just making those poor female's day by giving them a wink from the most studly boy around.

"Do you want to polish my wand?" Ron began as he reached the seventh year girl. "And by wand I mean my..."

"Err... What? No." She replied incredulously looking up at him as the common room silenced for a brief moment before erupting in laughter.

Ron remained unfazed by the laughter. He leaned closer to the girl, looking her deep in to her eyes. _They weren't anywhere near as spectacular as his_, he mused,_ but no one could have eyes as amazing as his._

"You must be a Hufflepuff." Ron finally managed to ask after tearing himself away from her eyes... he could see his reflection in them and he looked bloody good.

Several girls in the midst of a fit of giggles walked over to Ron and the seventh year girl.

The seventh year girl began to look more and more uneasy and annoyed as the crowd gathered around them. "We are sitting in the Gryffindor common room..."

Ron beamed at the girls who had moved closer to them. He winked at the group before turning his attention back to the seventh year girl.

"Because I want to huffle your puff." He told her with a flash of what he knew must be an extremely handsome smile.

The girls surrounding Ron giggled louder, one fell to the floor clutching her stomach laughing hysterically.

The seventh year girl's face went a deep shade of red. "What in Merlin's name does that even mean?"

Unfazed, Ron continued. "Isn't it bloody amazing someone without Giant's blood can have such a huge..."

The seventh year girl slammed her book shut interrupting Ron mid-sentence.

"If you continue I swear to Merlin I will hex you from head to toe."She told him in a steely voice as she reached for her wand.

Not taking the warning, Ron continued. "Package? And I'm not talking about the cookies your mum sends you."

Oblivious to the scene, Fred and George entered the common room counting a box of candies.

"We are definitely missing at least five." Fred said looking confused.

Fred counted the box again and still came to the same number.

"Could we have dropped them?" Asked George.

Before Fred could answer, they both stopped in their tracks looking perplexed around the common room. There was a group of about six or seven girls surrounding their brother Ron.

Confused, they walked over to Angelina Johnson who was sitting with a friend and giggling and pointing at the scene.

"There is something wrong with your brother." Gasped Angelina between laughs.

Fred and George turned to where Ron was standing and listened.

"...and then you will be shrieking more than the shack."

Fred and George looked at one another, realization dawning on them both.

Ron continued, not missing a beat. "I hope you are a parstlemouth because tonight you will be speaking..."

One of the girls who had walked over to the exchange quickly cut in. "Isn't Harry Potter a parstlemouth?"

"Great because that means tonight he won't have issues speaking to my snake." Ron retorted, clearly not understanding the implications of his words.

The entire common room laughed louder than ever. The annoyance on the seventh year girl's face quickly melted away and she let out a loud bellow of laughter joining the noise.

Hurriedly, Fred and George moved across the common room towards Ron.

"Did you eat some of our candies when we were at breakfast?" Fred asked Ron bemused as they reached him.

"What? Fred, I am working..." Ron asked, he was clearly annoyed with the interruption.

"At breakfast we had this box... did you take any and eat them?" George asked. He lifted the box he was holding as he tried desperately to fight back laughter .

"Yes, they were on the table... They were for anyone." Ron snapped. "Now let me get back to these fine young ladies as they all want to take a ride on my..."

Ron was cut off by George quickly covering his mouth before giving the girls an apologetic look. "Ate too many confidence candies... a small mistake.. but well... nothing to see here."

Fred quickly grabbed Ron's arms as he struggled against George's hand.

"Come along Ron, ." Fred said as he forced Ron away from the giggling girls.

_The nerve of his brothers!_ thought Ron as he fought to get out of their grips. _Those girls evidently thought him a great comedian as well as studly! Not easy being related to such a vivacious, studly, bright and talented person like himself. Clearly Jealous._

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><p>AN: Liked? Yes? No? Please review!


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